This has been a really difficult week. I've had good days and bad days this whole transfer, but this weekend was honestly two of the most difficult days I've had in a while. After talking to Sister Mullen and an LDS Family Services Counselor, I was referred to a psychiatrist. The chemicals in my brain have been off for a while and have been making me feel worthless, like there isn't a plan for me, that I'm an utterly useless member of the human race and to our Father. I've been in a dark place for so long, it kind of became normal. But there is help for the hopeless! Jesus Christ knows my pain on such an intimate level, and even though I can't wrap my brain around the fact that He cares, there's a small part of me that just knows. Looking at myself in a positive light is one of the most difficult things for me, but I am taking medicine to help me be happy, to be my normal self. It's a scary step and something that I never thought I'd go through, but this is an experience that I can use to help others. There's a purpose in all things; even in things that seem completely dire.
I just want to say that a tender mercy is occurring at this very moment. My favorite song of all time is playing at the computer lab in which we email. Africa by Toto. #hollah at you, mom! #oursong #I bless the rains down in Africa
SO! Before the emotions doctor, I went to see a physical body doctor for my cyst. It gives me super minor discomfort and the Dr said that is is almost one hundred percent not a tumor, so that's great! I'll go back in 3 months to check up on it, and in addition to that I'm taking prescription painkillers. Wow. #keeping the medical industry in business
Lots of things happened! Like transfers! Sister da Silva and I are staying together in Eastvale so it's all good in the hood. We had a birthday party for Elder Olsen, and there was a pinata involved, but no blindfold! What do we use instead? Sister Turner's glasses.
There was a Fiesta this week at the Stake Center! It was a blast! There was food featured from over 10 Latin countries. Too cool for words.
This is a segment from Sister da Silva's email because this thing happened and I can't talk about it without my blood pressure spiking:
"So on Saturday we had an appointment set up with some guys that Sister Turner had met on exchanges but we realized that it is a house with college boys and a team up would be highly needed! so we started to think about who we could text. We have our go to members so we asked her to come and she said yes! During this lesson the most confrontational kid comes down and the spirit told me "this kid is going to be trouble!" As our lesson continues and we testify this man raises his hand and begins to ask his questions.. well that was fun! THEN (it gets better) This member begins to tell him to google the answer so we can all see that he was wrong (the site was defs an anti site), THEN (gets better) this guy says "well I am a protestant and I don't believe the BOM to be scripture!" and the member says "WE AGREE!" uhhh wait what?? NO WE DONT! We both turned to her and gave her this weird shocked look.. let's just say this was the lesson from outer darkness! She wanted to prove him wrong so I had to kick her and tell her to stop.. what a great day! :) I seriously love missionary work!"
I love you all! Tomorrow is always a brighter day!
If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. - F Burton Howard